The Bible is your best TV Guide.

Prayer gives you a calm-plex.

Feeling let down today? Try looking up.

T.G.I.F. — Thank God I’m Forgiven

Jesus invested His life in you. Have you shown any interest?

I love you,

I love you,

I love you.

- God

Get an afterlife

My way is the High Way. God

Will the road that you’re travelling on get you to my place? God

Have you read my number 1 best seller? There will be a test. God

It’s never too soon to plan for eternity.

If we are like Christ, some will not like us.

If you don’t want the fruits of sin, stay out of the Devil’s orchard.

Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!

Hot outside? Try one of our Sundays!

Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!

An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets”.

When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.

People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.

God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.

Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!

When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.

Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.

Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.

How will you spend eternity — Smoking or Nonsmoking?

Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.

Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.

If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.

Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.

This is a ch_ _ch. What is missing? ———> (U R)

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

In the dark? Follow the Son.

Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.

If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.